Remembrance

Dear Mom,

I'm feeling a little lost today. 

Now that I've graduated from college and am hunting for jobs, I find that the bulk of this process involves recalling the complexities of the life I have lived, the challenges I have faced, the skills I have learned from all kinds of teachers, the values I care about and the things I feel– and reducing them down to key words that will stand out in a resume one-liner. 

I haven't yet developed a healthy routine at home with no Mission Bay nearby to paddle board in, no roommates to run circles around the neighborhood with, and friends now scattered across the United States with doorbells I can no longer ring within minutes. 

I'm trying to recall things that remind myself of who I am and what I am here to do. As a result, I went back and read your blog post from this day, 17 years ago. Here's what you wrote:

I didn't expect to cry tonight over someone I don't know. I read Anika's story, and she had a rough battle with childhood cancer. She spent her whole entire childhood fighting cancer with several relapses over several years. No child should have to undergo that kind of fear and pain, and no parent should have to experience such an immense loss. 

It's difficult for me to express how I feel about 'stories' like this because her life was so much more than a story. She was someone's daughter, someone's sibling, someone's legacy. The impact of her life reverberates through an entire community from family to doctors to friends to acquaintances to people who recognize her character to people who recognize her face to people who recognize her name to people who recognize her story and to people who don't really know her at all– like me.

Anyways, even though I did not know her, today I celebrate Anika's life with remembrance.